Saturday, April 13, 2013

We are all liars.

Michael: Lulu, I'm sorry. 
Michael: Don't ask me to explain it, just know that I am sorry.
Received @1:18 am

I guess I'm not even going to ask.


I haven't talked to Mike since last fall, when I sent him a text message on the long drive home from Toronto. Of course, text would not convey how sobbing tears blurred the midnight traffic while the night weighed down empty and endless. Why was I crying?

Me: Its a shame that our friendship is ruined.
Me: I could really use a kindred spirit right about now.
Michael: It's not ruined.
Michael: You know you can always talk to me.
Me: But I won't. We won't. I'm just sorry, that's all.

We went to high school together but weren't friends until college. His apartment was near the highway and we used to stay up all night on Flaming Dr. Pepper shots and Metallica. A pyramid of Keystone cans displayed on the end table near the front door. Rooms littered with computer parts and guitars. My best friend Jennie was secretly in love with him, but I was the one who slept with him years ago - the night after he broke up with his girlfriend. Jennie never found out.

I wonder sometimes if he didn't just stay suspended there, not knowing how to forget.


  1. Awe, that is so sad when a friendship is lost LuLu, I know what you mean though, my friendship with David was nearly destroyed, it is still so hard and we did lose a little of that closeness... :(

  2. Your reflection through writing i envy. So few words, saying so much, you have a gift.

  3. I know you feel completely, this has happened to me too x

  4. I hate it when a friendship ends. It always sucks.

    It can be hard to move on and put it behind you and leave it there forever, but it is the only way to continue with life sometimes.

    Take care, lovely <3

  5. I don't think you believe it's over. He's one of those.

  6. You write INCREDIBLY beautifully. Ohmygod. Never stop.

  7. I dont know how this goes. But complications make things better. Much better. Stronger.

  8. I still want to know more about this. Cause I'm nosey and wistful.