Friday, November 23, 2012


I used to love nights like this. 

After dinner, when the house was suddenly quiet and we stood alone together in the kitchen, surveying the mess: Purple-stained wine glasses clustered in the center of the table and dirty dinner dishes piled up in the sink. 

"That was fun, " he would say. 
"Yes. I do think everyone had a good time." 

I could taste the bourbon in his kiss.

We would get most of it cleaned up before falling into bed, feeling like such grown-ups. We were married now with grown-up things like matching dinnerware and crystal. We had married friends and threw grown-up dinner parties. We slept in a queen-sized sleigh bed we'd bought together and had a second bedroom that we called "the office."

Tonight it's just me, leaning against the sink, negotiating counter space for the dirty dishes and crystal.


  1. Exactly what I'm afraid of and what's impending for me.

    +To Me It Matters+

  2. To do things by yourself must feel different...

  3. Being a grown-up scared the hemm out of me, I just don't want all those things.


    1. It was supposed to be self-created stability.

  4. i have to second Avy here... i wonder if this could turn me into a tragic figure in about a decade from now. but maybe there is another way, i can force it upon me now, and maybe we cannot create these thing ourselves, they have to come naturally..
    your words always make me think..

    1. sry , i meant "I CANNOT force it upon me"... and thingS
      sry sry my typing is really bad!

  5. time, sweet time, long chunks of minutes drifting into hours, and then days, and then eventually that time releases your thoughts and you experience freedom joyfully.

    I don't know what I'm saying. I'm alone. What do I know.

  6. Ohhhh LuLu.. You do know how I feel.. not many people do... they just want me to get over it :'( .... I would if I could.... :-(